I haven’t taken a picture or uploaded one to my computer since last year. I have 2,388 photos on my phone (seriously!) that are the sole history of my kids last year in photos. I’m perpetually behind on laundry, bills and maintaining my house and cars. I know none of this matters, I know that. But this is why I don’t write. For the last 3 months I have been dealing with back pain and other ailments that have me feeling down and frustrated. See, my life’s not perfect. I read enough blogs that are sickeningly perfect and it bugs the shit out of me. I never wanted to be one of those, it’s just hard to know how to be honest and also be private.
The good thing about struggling, you learn a lot about yourself. Things like, it’s probably a bad idea to run another half marathon when your back is hurting. Funny thing that running doesn’t fix back pain. Shocking really. Also, writing, thinking and reflecting are good for the soul. Oh and here’s a good one. Eating wholesome food, getting enough sleep and drinking less alcohol really do make you feel better. I know! What I am trying to say is, I’m learning. I’m taking more time for myself and my wellness and it feels right.
I love this space. I miss it, but I am not sure what to write or how to write it. This photo of the sculpture park makes me feel so peaceful. I need to remember this in the hard times. There is peace, and there is hope and beauty all around me.