my attempt

sculptureparkI haven’t taken a picture or uploaded one to my computer since last year. I have 2,388 photos on my phone (seriously!) that are the sole history of my kids last year in photos. I’m perpetually behind on laundry, bills and maintaining my house and cars.  I know none of this matters, I know that.  But this is why I don’t write. For the last 3 months I have been dealing with back pain and other ailments that have me feeling down and frustrated.  See, my life’s not perfect. I read enough blogs that are sickeningly perfect and it bugs the shit out of me. I never wanted to be one of those, it’s just hard to know how to be honest and also be private.

The good thing about struggling, you learn a lot about yourself. Things like, it’s probably a bad idea to run another half marathon when your back is hurting.  Funny thing that running doesn’t fix back pain. Shocking really.  Also, writing, thinking and reflecting are good for the soul. Oh and here’s a good one. Eating wholesome food, getting enough sleep and drinking less alcohol really do make you feel better. I know! What I am trying to say is, I’m learning.  I’m taking more time for myself and my wellness and it feels right.

I love this space. I miss it, but I am not sure what to write or how to write it. This photo of the sculpture park makes me feel so peaceful. I need to remember this in the hard times. There is peace, and there is hope and beauty all around me.

4 comments

  • dearest kat, miss miss miss you. And take it from the girl who can’t even start a blog because her house, car, kids are a mess too, one post a year is doing pretty good. TOTALLY understand. And seriously, I know, what would a blog about? Well, the kids watched three hours of PBS today while I managed to wash four loads of back laundry, but then leave it piled on the couch. Or, wow, I actually unloaded the whole dishwasher one piece at a time to use it while the dishes in the sink piled up to the ceiling. Someday things will slow down i hope. I’m glad you are taking better care of yourself and I just love to have some insight into your lives cause I really miss you all. love you!!! don’t worry I will keep obsessively checking your blog for anything no matter how long you don’t post :)

  • miss you dear kat. And take it from the girl who can’t even start a blog because her house, car, kids are a mess too, one post a year is doing pretty good. TOTALLY understand. And seriously, I know, what would a blog about? Well, the kids watched three hours of PBS today while I managed to wash four loads of back laundry, but then leave it piled on the couch. Or, wow, I actually unloaded the whole dishwasher one piece at a time to use it while the dishes in the sink piled up to the ceiling. Someday things will slow down i hope. I’m glad you are taking better care of yourself and I just love to have some insight into your lives cause I really miss you all. love you!!! don’t worry I will keep obsessively checking your blog for anything no matter how long you don’t post :)

  • Today I ate half a bag of Cheetos while watching Kathie Lee and Hoda (shoot me now) warming my feet with a weekend’s worth of laundry on the other end of the couch.

    Things I don’t write about. Feel you on the blockage, but somehow your words always help mine clear up.