for my sister

It is difficult to comprehend the land of parenthood before it descends upon you.  You can imagine or look at your friends, but it’s not the same.  Andy and I from the start have been firm believers in the idea that it’s not ALL about your kids.  We should be including the kids in our lives -they in turn become an extension of who we are and what we love.  This has played itself out via our social lives. Since Addy was born we have been taking her to friends houses, parties, etc. She has slept in more laundry rooms and closets than anyone I know.  Notably we are proud of this.  It is not always easy to load those horrid pack n’ plays everywhere, set it up, put kids to bed, take it down, wake kids up, drive kids home, put kids to bed II and hope to god they fall back asleep.  You get the drift.  I love that Addy loves our friends, loves parties and is comfortable around adults.  Albeit she probably is Seriously lacking in the kids-her-own-age department.  Whatever.  Kindergarten is only a year away, she’ll be fine.  

All this being said, sometimes I walk a fine line.  Every parent has had THE MOMENT.  It is no one’s fault, well sometimes it is.  The singles are unaware of what children-ing is all about and the parentals are too ambitious. It is that cosmic moment that you arrive at an outing and you realize instantly you made a huge error in parental judgement, but it is inexorably too late to back out.  To honor my sister, here are a few.  Let me caveat by saying our friends are incredible, ever loving of our kids and hopelessly forgiving and none of these stories are about them.  Sorry about the toothpaste Cha Cha.  Nevertheless, there are times it goes awry.  Situation 1.   Arrive at a house of a new acquaintance only to discover 10 zillion knick knacks and relics.  Dinner is not ready.  Your child [Addy] has peed on a grandmother-made, hand-crocheted piano bench cover. The host is looking at you like you just killed their cat.  True story.  All that is running through your head is “GET THE HELL OUT.”  Situation 2. Your friend tells you to bring your two year old to a barbeque with your college friends.  You believe them.  Dinner is not ready (sensing the theme) for 2.5 hours.  Your child has been slamming the screen door, mostly out of sheer boredom and the host is dropping clues that it is not appreciated.  Well hosty, don’t effing tell me that it is ok to bring my two year to your stupid ass party.  Situation 3.  Your crazy toddler is running around touching tiffany lamps and a beautiful Chihuly.  I can just feel my anxiety go up as I tally how much much it costs.  

Honestly sometimes we sorta want our old lives back, or the lives we never had.  But the reality is that our lives will never be the same –which is good, but often difficult to swallow.  So we try to forge a line being childless to our childless friends and parental to other parents.  It is the dilemna of wishing that I could endlessly talk about the silly things Addy does, but also wishing I could talk about anything but my kids.  So I guess I’ll settle on 50/50 and hope that my friends will (and do) tirelessly listen to my anecdotes while I interject my thoughts on global warming.  That’s if it even exists.  Just kidding.