the perils of mothering

I nearly have a four year old.  Every day she says something ridiculous, funny or just plain weird.  Lately she knows how (and tries) to piss me off.  If she really wants to bug me, she will crawl around my legs or through them while I am trying to make dinner.  It’s not just crawling around them, she pushes against my legs.  At some point I get down on her level and try my most threatening voice of “knock it off addy.”  It usually ends in HER hitting me and me getting pissed and putting her in timeout.  If I was the spanking kind, which I am not, this would be an opportune moment.  But alas, I cannot hack it.  The idea of a bare butt and a slotted wooden spoon are far too familiar memories.  Not that it was really THAT scarring to be spanked, but I definitely remember it.  I don’t want her remembering that.  

Overall we have been enjoying Addy’s shift from greek to speaking ENGLISH. Unfortunately it has it’s drawbacks.  The other day I told Andy, “just put her in the bathtub,” to which he stated she’d already had one.  Upon overhearing this conversation, Addy says, “WHAT’D YOU SAY MOMMY?!  DADDY, WHAT’D SHE SAY!”  Geesh.  You know you have a 4-year-old when our buzzwords are cheese, bathtub and park.  Here’s what addy’s saying lately.

“Have you seen my dad?”  No sweetie, you’ve never met him.  

“Owen, calm down please.”

“No mom, I’m watching you!”

When I asked her to floss (tickle) tonight.  ”No tickle mama.  Maybe soon.” 

“I’m sad. (Why are you sad?)  Because I’m scared of lions.”  

Addy, these are the things you say to me everyday, all day long.  You make me laugh.  Your zest for life is beautiful.  Thank you for calling me mama.  Thank you for saying please and thank you.  I see you and think, I can’t wait to hang out with her as an adult.  I know you will be full of life and fun.  But sometimes when you hit me or bite me, I wish I could bite you back.  Love ya.