I am reading Telling Secrets. Some books I just read snippets and then set down. This is one of them. I am still reveling in the knowledge that Buechner’s immediate family not once talked about his father post-suicide. This seems to be a common vein in life. I don’t understand it. Yet, I probably engage in it regularly.
In the beginning of my blogging journey I had hoped to chronicle my family with lots of cute stories and pictures. I don’t really seem to be doing that. I have found blogging to be thought provoking and therapeutic. I don’t even care if anyone reads it. Strangely enough, It has added a new dimension to my marriage — a sort of communication to Andy and I.
SO, back to Buechner. I relate to him. I felt there was much held secret and captive in my family. Things went undisclosed, transgressions unmentioned. My personal story may not be significant to very many people, but it is significant to me. So, I am compelled to share. I am thinking these thoughts today in the last few hours of October 23rd. Today is my brother’s 31st birthday. fourteen years ago he died (not from suicide). I am not usually very vocal about this. I am not sure if I am supposed to feel sad anymore. Truly I don’t even know who he was. Maybe that is the sadness. The finality of not knowing.
I am thankful for my life. my husband. my kids and my family. they are what life is truly about.
{ 1 comment }
Katherine-
I remember Dan (and you and your family) every October 23rd. I don’t know how I have remembered his birthday over the years, except for the fact that his death impacted me so much when I was the ripe age of 14. It’s hard to believe that he has been gone for so long. Probably coping last the length of one’s life. He sure was a light when he was only 16. Crazy. And at age 16? Wow. He was truly amazing.
Love,
Aimee
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