I am struggling with this idea of suffering. I realize that life can’t be utopia. But, on a daily basis I am involved in the lives of others who are desperately struggling. On my “good” days I can remain distanced from their pain. I know it sounds cruel, but it can be essential to surviving in health care (or so we think). There are those that will suck you dry. If I allow myself to experience the fullness of their pain…it would be consuming.
I feel frustrated and mildly repulsed by some of the religious/christian sayings. I do believe that God is with us and wants to provide us comfort, but to say that feels trite. I have not found a new vocabulary which would express my empathy. I am open to suggestions.
As I sit here decompressing from a long day with a very tragic patient, I feel remorse. Remorse that I don’t care enough, remorse for her that she is so messy and demanding, remorse that there is no answer, no solution. I hope that a little compassion will be enough.
