andy the bachelor

I didn’t think I’d fall apart and live in filth. Ok, I saw it coming a month before Kat left.

Kat is currently visiting family and friends in Phoenix, and somehow decided it would be best to take both kids, leaving me to die alone in Seattle from starvation. I didn’t want to become one of those husbands entirely dependent on their wife for keeping things together, but the current state of our house begs to differ. Somewhere around the third day I realized that Honey Moon Summer Ale was not really a good substitute for dinner. So I drove to Safeway, walked around the store for a good half hour trying to resist the draw to the most terrible place in an American grocery store, the frozen food isle. After very stealthily eating all the “kids cookies”, I finally gave in. I left the store with a 10 pack of burritos, egg rolls and more honey moon summer ale. I probably should have just stayed home and let some of my adipose tissue eat itself.

When I did get home I realized you can only throw so much crap on the floor before the front door stops opening all the way. I think the floor is still there although it looks more like, what is it called…oh, a friggin land fill. Ever since then I have been entering and leaving the house through the downstairs slider door, thus allowing for optimal piling of materials.

Kat, I promise to clean before I have to use a window, or you come home, whichever is first. Probably the window.